Saturday, March 1, 2008

Blog 11 The End

It was a sunny day to blast a airplane down I think it was smoking like a fire. I turned my hip and looked threw the telescope I saw kids heaving a rock it was a ululation I pinched myself it was still there I turned the boat. I was cower because our ship was out of position and there were kids starting a fire. 40 Minutes later I got there I got out a kid was staring at me. I think he was visualizing that I was fake or I was his dad because I realized it was Ralph because his dad is my Boss. He was elaborating that I was not real then other kids came out they talked they all saw me then I said how many were killed and who is in charge. Then Ralph said 2 and He said he was in charge. Then I said you should be disappointed and put all on the ship.

2 comments:

Gala said...

Hey.
I think you could add more detail and describe the kids faces like how some are painted.
i like how you kind of changed it and said -
"I think he was visualizing that I was fake or I was his dad because I realized it was Ralph because his dad is my Boss."
I havent read anyone else that said that.
good job.

Hungry Langston said...

Sup
Willie you need to make it longer. It was good though. Nice way to use the words.Over all you did a good job.