Saturday, March 1, 2008
Blog 11 The End
It was a sunny day to blast a airplane down I think it was smoking like a fire. I turned my hip and looked threw the telescope I saw kids heaving a rock it was a ululation I pinched myself it was still there I turned the boat. I was cower because our ship was out of position and there were kids starting a fire. 40 Minutes later I got there I got out a kid was staring at me. I think he was visualizing that I was fake or I was his dad because I realized it was Ralph because his dad is my Boss. He was elaborating that I was not real then other kids came out they talked they all saw me then I said how many were killed and who is in charge. Then Ralph said 2 and He said he was in charge. Then I said you should be disappointed and put all on the ship.
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2 comments:
Hey.
I think you could add more detail and describe the kids faces like how some are painted.
i like how you kind of changed it and said -
"I think he was visualizing that I was fake or I was his dad because I realized it was Ralph because his dad is my Boss."
I havent read anyone else that said that.
good job.
Sup
Willie you need to make it longer. It was good though. Nice way to use the words.Over all you did a good job.
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